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benny2000
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Hi,

If a few expat veterans or Indonesian would give me a few tips ?

I have only been for a few weeks in Jakarta but I am still surprised by Indonesian girls/women. I am not talking prostitutes, bar girls or freelancers that you find in various bars/clubs in big hotels.

For example, I eat sometimes for lunch in cheap local restaurants (run by "ordinary local families) where I have never seen any bule. There are a few young (attractive) waitress, at the beginning nothing happenned but they are now clearly charming me and recently their boss with his wife even asked me in front of them if I found them attractive (I believe to confirm availability) ! one of the waitress even asked her male collegue to tell me that she likes me !!! (since I did not reply she seems now angry and is ignoring me Emoticon: Angry


Also, when I play golf, it happens more than often that a couple of "attractive" female caddies (not even my caddy) keep on starring at me with a big smile for long minutes.... and things goes on in many other occasions...

Those girls are basically half my age. I am not a bad looking guy but I am realistic, in my country no such girls would even notice me !

What surprise me is that they do not look at all like prostitutes and it generally occurs in day time, in "family" places where there are almost no bules. Those girls are (very) good looking, do not speak English and absolutely do not look like working girls in hotel bars.

My question is : what are they ? What do they really want from an "old man" like me ?
Indonesian gilrs seems to like to go "straight to the point" ? Is it usual ?

BTW, It seems impossible in this town to go shopping and not make eyes contact with a couple of girls/women even sometimes they wear head scarves ! Are those girls only curious to look at you or want really more ?

Another time, I discussed with a nice Indonesian man of about 55 or 60 years old which is the owner of a grocery store in my area where I go sometimes. Without any request, he told me that at such and such places, girls are beautiful and friendly...
I had the impression that either the store owner and the restaurant owner, just wanted me to be happy - even they know I am married - and just want ed me to have some good "relaxation" with local girls ?! Am I dreaming ? Is it the life here for expat and Indonesian mens ?



oyibo
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Expat, and no fresh fish.
The answer to your question is money.

Emoticon: Yummie! and they like that.


It's only kinky the first time.

Albert
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Opa with grandchild, is very normal in Indonesia.

Go to area's where you find many expat and you will see many with young girls.
My wife is only 10 years younger.
But don't be surprised to see a guy of 70 with a girl 25 years old.

The girls don't mind, as the guy also doesn't mind. Why should they choose an old woman if you can get a fresh one.

In the west it is not normal, but in Indonesia it is.

Even a woman no Indonesian guy wish to have (to ugly) even they can still find a guy (londoh) .
Because many are married with a (their) maid/pembantung/babu, or with a amplas woman/girl. Emoticon: Laugh out loud Emoticon: Nice


Wil je ook meester van je eigen leven zijn? http://www.goudenera.nl

oyibo
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Worth mentioning, the observation is not only in Indonesia, but in a few other parts of the world. South America, Africa, and ofcourse Asia in a couple of country's. To be more specific 3th world country's.




It's only kinky the first time.

Yogya-Bali
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Often girls are on purpose working in places like restaurants or else, just to target a "richer" man (could be also a more fortunate Indonesian or a bule).
Good example of this, is the Prawirotaman area in Yogyakarta where most of the waitresses are working there in restaurans with actually only one purpose (cause the salaries are lousy), and that is to get a bule (who in their eyes is a fortunate person). I had a friend who saw all his waitresses disappear after 1 or 2 months with a bule as boyfriend (and directly marriage plans). So, he thought to be clever and took an older, married woman. But still that one disappeared with a bule.
Oyibo is right: it's the (supposed) money thing.




ardianto
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benny2000,

Welcome to the Indonesian expat-life. As I would presume, you are quite new at this. The occasions you are describing are very Indonesian-like.

Apart from their interest in a better lifestyle for themselves in material or financial ways, the girl you might get involved with, brings with her the family, they never come alone. Ofcourse their daddies will throw in a few words with you for their daughters, as you are supposed to support her family in the end as well.

Be aware and realize where you are getting into. Live with it, or never have your ass caught in a nasty love affair where love is actually no part of it at all.


Quiz: Noem 3 westerse landen waar Islam succesvol is ge´ntegreerd. Oke, noem er eentje dan

sidia
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On 11-06-2008 15:45 Albert wrote:

But dont be surprised to see a guy of 70 with a girl 25 years old.



Halleluja , praise the lord.




Bisa dicek mas . http://omsid.multiply.com/

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On 11-06-2008 19:35 sidia wrote:

...


Halleluja , praise the lord.



He he he



benny2000
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Thanks for the info, it is quite interesting !

I am not so surprised that it is mainly a $ question on a way or another. It is like that in most countries on a way or another anyway also ! Anyhow, hearring that a waitress or a golf caddy can expect to find a Bule or a rich Indonesian for marriage or even a serious relationship is really hard to believe ! Single bules are rare, single bules who want to get married are more rare !

I have a few western friends with Indo wives but without exception they are all educated women with an university degree and perfect English ! they are also intelligent with a good sense of humor Emoticon: Party! !



kiwimave
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Even in the Netherlands most women like rich man. There are many scientific theories about that. In Indonesia its just more obvious then in Europe, where its much more subtle.


Gracias. Sama sama

daft_punk
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i agree kiwimave.
In indonesia there are also woman who wants to be independed. and many indonesian woman going to universaty. so they have a better vieuw for a good job later.
I am 192 cm and around 92 kilo, bold and white eyebrows. Yes i feel like a moviestar also sometime. But we just look different and thats why everybody will look at you



Yerun
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haha, nice topic. akhirnya semua UUD Emoticon: Wink Eventually everything is about the constitution, eeeh... money. (UUD means Undang-Undang Dasar = Constitution, but in slang Ujung-Ujung Duit = 'at the end it's about money')



daft_punk
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lol




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On 12-06-2008 07:48 kiwimave wrote:
Even in the Netherlands most women like rich man. There are many scientific theories about that. In Indonesia its just more obvious then in Europe, where its much more subtle.

Subtle?? well... I rather call it more sneaky, nick name "golden pussies" one more reason why I like it so much in Indonesia, honesty in feelings, emancipation in Europe? bullshit, only about women wanting to be able to have the same salary as men etc etc, but in bed or just socializing women in Europe think its normal to keep playing the game "beg me for sex or be very rich" all the time...
Fot that reason I love to be in Indonesia and hope never have to go back to the Netherlands again.

Greetz



oyibo
Moderator
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Hihi, " i feel like a moviestar" that lasts as long as your wallet can affort it.

One lovely smile to one of the birds here is enough, married or not.
If they can land a bule they think they've made it.
And don't make the mistake to go "bare" that makes things even worse.

I've seen it here already a couple of times, and there are not a lot of expats.
So when you think you're lucky and you have a handphone where all the birds call you on, you might be in deeper sh*t then you think.
Throw away the phone, and get your butt out of the country.

Somewhere on this forum was the term MBA, an old one already.
Let me introduce you to the term MFM, Married For Money.




It's only kinky the first time.

daft_punk
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uhhm i will send my friend an e-mail then. He just went to sulawesi to marry a 15 year younger woman(girl)



Veer01
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Even with your wife they come ask you,it's just interest in the bule and you will get used to it soon enough,i guess it's nice to get the attention of the women..enjoy it Emoticon: I love it



merapi
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Kiwimave,
not every Dutch woman desires a rich man, absolutely no!
more: love and security and trustfull; East en West are near together, but try to be pelan2



sidia
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On 14-06-2008 11:23 merapi wrote:
Kiwimave,
not every Dutch woman desires a rich man, absolutely no!

same as the indonesian women. Emoticon: Smile Emoticon: Wink


Bisa dicek mas . http://omsid.multiply.com/

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On 14-06-2008 11:34 sidia wrote:

...

same as the indonesian women. Emoticon: Smile Emoticon: Wink


Absolutely true, I already found out



merapi
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dutchguy,
What did you find out??



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On 14-06-2008 20:10 merapi wrote:
dutchguy,
What did you find out??


That not every Indonesian woman desires a rich man and many care more about love, security and trustfulness



Yogya-Bali
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On 13-06-2008 15:44 dutchguy1000 wrote: emancipation in Europe? bullshit, only about women wanting to be able to have the same salary as men etc etc, but in bed or just socializing women in Europe think its normal to keep playing the game "beg me for sex or be very rich" all the time...


You're right. Emancipation in Europe is only a meaningless word.
Nr.1. How can women emancipate without men?
Nr.2. I believe there's more emancipation in Asia then in Europe. Only women don't show it that much and are not always involved in a struggle/battle of "Who is the most powerful at home: me or my man??" Here in RI it is much more subtile. A situation of dual respect and not of disrespect and envy like in the West.
Prove: Has there ever been a female prime minister in Holland? - Indonesia got even a female president (so did the Philippines, Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh). The amount of schooldirectors in RI consists of more then 50%, bankdirectors got it almost equal.
Then on a lower level: look at the markets (small scale busines.....almost all in the hands of women). Etc, etc, etc,.....




Yogya-Bali
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On 12-06-2008 03:11 benny2000 wrote: Anyhow, hearring that a waitress or a golf caddy can expect to find a Bule or a rich Indonesian for marriage or even a serious relationship is really hard to believe ! Single bules are rare, single bules who want to get married are more rare !


They don't care whether you're married of not. Even with your wife with you, they will flirt with men. You don't have to be single to be a target. Just the fact that you're (supposed to be) rich is more then enough to "play the game'.
There are quite enough men who will leave their older "lady" for a nice, younger and prettier one. And they will not listen to education level or something like that, they just listen to their dig.
And.................quite often with elder "bule". Years ago, almost the whole staff of a Dutch company in RI, got divorced from their Dutch wives and remarried a (younger) Indonesian girl (mostly bargirls), including the director.




sidia
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On 15-06-2008 03:14 Yogya-Bali wrote:

...


Years ago, almost the whole staff of a Dutch company in RI, got divorced from their Dutch wives and remarried a (younger) Indonesian girl (mostly bargirls), including the director.


Ooohhhh , Emoticon: Blush Emoticon: Blush Emoticon: Blush
Guna guna , or goyang banyuwangi ?


Bisa dicek mas . http://omsid.multiply.com/


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