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Yogya-Bali
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On 15-12-2005 20:24 Veer01 wrote:
Its the same everywhere..people allways react a little different when they see a mixed couple.When i walk in holland with my indonesian wife,people will stare a bit,but also in jakarta or any place in Indonesia you see them look and think...what is he or she doing with him/her.Just ignore it...let them look and enjoy the attention Emoticon: Wink


That is nonsense. My whole life I have never had any other girlfriends then Indo or Indonesian, and didn't had that problem.
The problem is created in Indonesia by the bad taste of the bule men and women. They date ayam or ayam jago, mostly of the lowest sort, type of people a well-educated Indonesian wouldn't accept. The bule got a bad name the last decennia just because of their bad choice. It even effects my relationship. The first thing people ask my wife in which bar she picked me up or in which tourist-restaurant she was working as a waitress when she met me. Nobody can even imagine that I met her in a normal situation, but actually I can't blame the Indonesians for it. It is caused by the bule's themselves with their Kentucky Fried Chicken (ayam Kentuki) taste.

Girls who walk like they are wearing shoes for the first time in their life and walk like Donald Duck (widespread-feet). Blackburned boys with long hair. That's what the Indonesian calls kampungan.

Look in Bali. The so-called Bali-girls: blackburned in the sun (which other Indonesians would hate), long hair (because that's the ideal way the bule likes to see his Balinese/Javanese fairytale-princess), a motor-bike of at least 200 cc, a (fake) leather helmet on (or no helmet at all), etc.
And then the Bali beachboys: always long hair, also blackburned, loves reggae, plays gitar, etc.

That's what I like to ask Nienke. How is the performance of her boyfriend? Mostly the girls are not looking in a way of jealousy; no, more in a way of disgust that another bule shows his/het bad taste (in Indonesian eyes).



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wow, so far in my concern, Indonesian people are very modern right now. How many mix couple walking around ? so many...doesn't matter who's blond who's
indonesian. But if they looked angry to you, maybe they're jealous or maybe it's something about you or your boyfriend, do u act normal ? or your boyfriend act normal ? because I think, they like also if you act just a little bit low profile in public.



ikan bali
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Dear Nienke,

Maybe you are no sure about your self and maybe you see things thats not there.



rudolf
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Maybe your boyfriend is "main mata" to the other girl



Robert70
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He Nienke

Where are you now? What did you expect when you entered the item?


Selemat tidur

Di Roberto Emoticon: Bye bye



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"I should stick with my own kind etc."

What is that? What era are you now? Come on, Nienke, that remark might be heard of in the 1950's America where racialism was still a big issue or South Africa in the 1970's raged with apartheid. But certainly not now and especially not in Jakarta/Indonesia where people have been so used to mixed couples/ mixed marriages. When I walk with my blond boy, some people do stare.. out of admiration because both of us are such a handsome couple Emoticon: Very funny



Slightly older, hopefully wiser, absolutely prettier

triss
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Well, it seems like it is all about people's perception towards us doesnt it?
One of my lecturers said "Your perception is your reality" So i guess it would be true too if you take other people's opinion too seriously.

What i would say is, doesn't matter who you go out with, as long as both of you are happy, why care so much about what other ppl think? Emoticon: Yes! Let them stare and they will get over it eventually.

When my Aussie bf went back to Medan with me and when we went shopping, we got heaps of people looking at us (or it might be just him) so we just walked casually and do our things (not kissing or pashing in public). Emoticon: Very funny

But then, it seems like other ppl's opinions are always important because of your perception is also your reality. (I think i just contradicted myself again here) But those are two of my points *shrugs



sglange
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[quote] On 15-12-2005 20:24 Veer01 wrote:
Its the same everywhere..people allways react a little different when they see a mixed couple.
Hi Veer01!
On this part I do agree with you cause when ever I'm with my wife (WNI) & son, the locals tend to react but they do not mean anything. At the shops or at the warungs, politely they will ask my wife where do I hail from, further more my Bah Indonesia is more akin to Bah Malaysia (I'm not a Malaysian). Overall, nobody mean any harm hence not to worry.




sglange
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when we went shopping, we got heaps of people looking at us (or it might be just him) so we just walked casually and do our things (not kissing or pashing in public). [/quote]

Yes, this is the right thing to do and also not to show off. I myself will blend in with my wife's family and relatives. Even when I am waiting for her outside the shop/s, people do strike up a conversation with me & at first, this came as a shock to my wife because I do make friends easily.



kiwimave
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What an absolutely non-interesting topic is this


Gracias. Sama sama

trombol
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Kiwimave Yth,
As you can see,most of the crew of this forum prefer "stories" instead of "topics".Flexiblity please . ;-)
Selamat Tahun Baru
Baik baik ya
mbol



Jeroen
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On 31-12-2005 10:56 kiwimave wrote:
What an absolutely non-interesting topic is this

then stay away from it Emoticon: So funny



AnisJ
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Nienke yth.,

'I think you got 'your point, baby' this is also the case with 'mixed light coloured people from other races', so to say ....
For a Moluccan I am light of skin, I more look like a North-African Arabian; so some Morrocans think I am a Morrocan too ......; walking with a 'dark coloured' Moluccan female 'make them look angry' at her ....... many dark coulored Moluccan females sense the 'feeling you have described'.....
I think it is still a remain of 'colonial white', the whiter you are the more people 'respect you', a relationship with a 'darkcoloured' let you fall 'in respect' of people in their 'expectancy of white supremacy' ....... I know it sound ridiculous, nowadays ....... but that is the way I see it .
Most of the people rather not talk about it, because it is sensitive ......




'Ahu kura ahia, mansia nia'

Desi Clark
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Happy New Year Everyone!! May 2006 bring your prosperity..

It has been a while..it's good seeing everyone here...I see , Jeroen is still single and looks the same (referring to his avatar)..ha ha ha

In response to Nienke's problem...actually is not only blonde western women who get "unfriendly look" from foreign women or men.

Asian women do as well!


I often get a very unfriendly look from western women at work or at the clubs, and western men who do not like Asian (even though majority they adore Asian women..yihui!).

To tell the truth, when things like that happen...It doesn't bother me...I don't even try to find out why in the world is wrong with them.....God has given them eyes to look either cheerfully or angrily at something/someone....I accept that!

Anyway we can not ignore the truth that some people still can’t accept foreigner in their country.


Salam,
Desi Clark



Effort and Courage are not enough without purpose and direction.

sidia
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On 06-01-2006 02:26 Desi Clark wrote:


To tell the truth, when things like that happen...It doesnt bother me...I dont even try to find out why in the world is wrong with them.....God has given them eyes to look either cheerfully or angrily at something/someone..


Could happened to everyone.
Especially if you are in the picture.
A nice couple , a lovely couple , a strange couple or -------- ??.
The Orjaks (orang jakarta) says : Ajejoleeeee
P.P.O. nih (Pusat Perhatian Orang) .
Asal jangan minder aja.


Bisa dicek mas . http://omsid.multiply.com/

AnisJ
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A 'bit off-topic' (may I please, moderator yth.,) "Desi ...... whooow 2006; new Desi, new avatar ???!!!

Emoticon: Yes! Emoticon: Yes! Emoticon: Wink Emoticon: Wink Emoticon: Bye bye Emoticon: Bye bye

What I am trying to say is that these 'tendencies' still have something(s) to do with 'colonial behaviour' sometimes also 'reversed' ......; in colonial days it is 'white at the top and black at the bottom' in society ......


'Ahu kura ahia, mansia nia'

Veer01
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When I told my collegues at work I was going to mary my wife,they first reacted with a certain distrust towards her.It is normal,I think that people do this cause they will allways react a bit scaredof what they don't know.Sometimes the remarks were a bit racial and not very nice,but now they see that things work fine with us and that she is just a normal person just like them and now they react a lot better and normal towards my wife,who has adapted fast to our dutch lifestyle.I feel we dutch can learn a lot from all other races in the world and that we should not close the door to other ways of life/thinking.But i also know that there will allwys be people who will never adapt to our new variety of mixed people in our small country.For example...in the local supermarket we see more and more different people from all nationalities...sometimes people react surprised when i walk in with my Indonesian wife and son,who is less coloured than her,and next time they will react normal when they get used to it.My point is...racism and staring will never disappear but I have confidence in the future and i think Holland will be fine when everybody will just accept that we are one people,no matter what colour or religion we have.Me myself have moslimneighbours and we get alomg fine,just respect eachothers thinking.Well,that will be enough for today,greetings everybody,my wife serves me a öliebol"now,so away I am Emoticon: Worship



AnisJ
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On 06-01-2006 02:26 Desi Clark wrote:
Happy New Year Everyone!! May 2006 bring your prosperity..

It has been a while..its good seeing everyone here...I see , Jeroen is still single and looks the same (referring to his avatar)..ha ha ha

Salam,
Desi Clark


"It looks like Yerun has got himself 'a tiger by the tail' ......." Emoticon: Yes! Emoticon: Yes! Emoticon: Yes!

Desi baby, to 'force' a bachelor like Yerun, you have to lock him up in a room and threaten him to throw the key away ...... I think he also like his 'Southern beer mark': 'Brand bier', on a daily basis ..... and you have to make him monthly
a local Brabantian meal ..... Emoticon: Clown Emoticon: Clown Emoticon: Bye bye Emoticon: Bye bye Emoticon: Bye bye






'Ahu kura ahia, mansia nia'

AnisJ
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On 14-12-2005 23:37 JohanN wrote:
I like the user icons of both Nienke and Kinanti.


  • "..... do you only like their icons, how about their articles .....


  • 'Ahu kura ahia, mansia nia'

    kredok
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    If you love your boyfriend why bother about other girls



    indahs
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    Oh..oh..this issue! I think it happened to some Indonesians (men or women) who are dating with "bule"!

    What happened to Nienke was happened to me as well when I walked with my "blonde blue eyes" Dutchie in Indonesia two years ago. We were experiencing an angry looking middle age woman looking at us and following us in the mall until we reached our car in Jakarta. It was a totally nuts and intimidating!

    The worst part was when we were in Kalimantan, Indonesian men shouted behind our back with unfriendly words! We did not even walk hand by hand at that time! We were always trying to be as modest as possible in public but it seemed mixed couple were not fully welcomed in Kalimantan (hopefully "not yet" ).

    Additionally, some of Indonesian girls even tried to "flirt" with my Dutchie... Emoticon: Shiny - my Dutchie is one year older than me, so I understand if his looks is attractive to girls. I am fine with this manners but not when they looked angry at us!!

    Now we can looked back and laughed about it, but when that was happened, I was so disappointed with such treats from my own society whom I care deeply.

    My suggestion for Nienke, just ignore these people. If they can not handle a happy mixed couple then it is their own problem. As long as they don't hit or slap at you...then that would be too much!

    BTW, as according to some of my friends from Malaysia and Vietnam who have Dutchie partners, they have experienced the same treats in their home countries when going out public. So, it is not only in Indonesia.


    History does have tendency to repeat itself, it only costs more. (Verleyen)

    Malam
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    I am married 15 years with a Indonesian woman, every year we go toIndonesia for two month`s , all the girls look to me, probebly because I am blond, when my wife is with me or not, while I am old (59)
    They never look angry to my wife.
    So I have an other expience.
    Earlier in the goldfields of western America every golddigger who was lucky had to be very carefull for other golddiggers.
    For me it`s clear that Nienke think she is handsome and ask some attention.
    And Indahs is a golddigger with her Dutchie, she has to be very carefull, because Indonesia is full of golddiggers.
    The best she can do, is taking a holiday in Spain, in Indonesia her Dutchie isn`t save , a loth of girls think the same as she, digging gold.
    So as we Dutchies say, in the country of blind people, de one with one eye is king.
    So Indahs keep your Dutchie away from Indonesia till you find a man with a bigger goldfield.
    OOOOOw I forget, we Dutchies speak Dutch ssssssst don`t tell anyone, they may not know that.
    Try to learn it, it makes your life easier with a Dutchie in Dutchieland.



    Nemesis
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    On 06-05-2007 16:27 Malam wrote:
    And Indahs is a golddigger with her Dutchie, she has to be very carefull, because Indonesia is full of golddiggers.


    This probably one of the worst aspects of Indonesian woman (man) having an affair with a foreigner. Most of them are at first interested in the money the Western man (Woman) has. This nearly always turns out to be a disapointment, because the foreigner seems to have a lot of money within Indonesia, but after mariage, when they have to live abroad, all of a sudden it turns out that the foreigher is not that rich, because everything is about 10 times more expensive.

    So to all you Indonesian gold diggers: Think twice before you catch a western man/woman. It's not what it seems. Only go for it when you really like hem/her.


    Amore, more, ore, re, probantur amicitiae. Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditiones habes.

    Malam
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    On 06-05-2007 18:19 Nemesis wrote:

    ...


    This probably one of the worst aspects of Indonesian woman (man) having an affair with a foreigner. Most of them are at first interested in the money the Western man (Woman) has. This nearly always turns out to be a disapointment, because the foreigner seems to have a lot of money within Indonesia, but after mariage, when they have to live abroad, all of a sudden it turns out that the foreigher is not that rich, because everything is about 10 times more expensive.

    That is exectly what I wanted to say, and when there is really love!!!!! where do you afraid of?
    A woman who look angry to you??????
    If there is love, from who do you afraid of Emoticon: Bye bye

    So to all you Indonesian gold diggers: Think twice before you catch a western man/woman. Its not what it seems. Only go for it when you really like hem/her.




    lady_sue
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    On 16-12-2005 15:54 Yogya-Bali wrote:

    ...


    That is nonsense. My whole life I have never had any other girlfriends then Indo or Indonesian, and didnt had that problem.
    The problem is created in Indonesia by the bad taste of the bule men and women. They date ayam or ayam jago, mostly of the lowest sort, type of people a well-educated Indonesian wouldnt accept. The bule got a bad name the last decennia just because of their bad choice. It even effects my relationship. The first thing people ask my wife in which bar she picked me up or in which tourist-restaurant she was working as a waitress when she met me. Nobody can even imagine that I met her in a normal situation, but actually I cant blame the Indonesians for it. It is caused by the bules themselves with their Kentucky Fried Chicken (ayam Kentuki) taste.

    Girls who walk like they are wearing shoes for the first time in their life and walk like Donald Duck (widespread-feet). Blackburned boys with long hair. Thats what the Indonesian calls kampungan.

    Look in Bali. The so-called Bali-girls: blackburned in the sun (which other Indonesians would hate), long hair (because thats the ideal way the bule likes to see his Balinese/Javanese fairytale-princess), a motor-bike of at least 200 cc, a (fake) leather helmet on (or no helmet at all), etc.
    And then the Bali beachboys: always long hair, also blackburned, loves reggae, plays gitar, etc.

    Thats what I like to ask Nienke. How is the performance of her boyfriend? Mostly the girls are not looking in a way of jealousy; no, more in a way of disgust that another bule shows his/het bad taste (in Indonesian eyes).


    I couldn't agree more with this one. Indonesian people tend to admire "attractive" couples way more than "unbalanced" couples if I may say so. It happens all the time where a handsome bule hangs around hand in hand with his "ndeso" girlfriend or wife (as a matter of fact lots of them look like cheap hookers because maybe they tried too hard to make themselves look more sophisticated and it just doesn't look suitable-sorry), and also the opposite, a beautiful bule holding hands with her "mas-mas" type of boyfriend or husband.

    Yes, some of the angry looks might represent jealousy towards the couple, but if the mind and the phisycal proportion of the one who holds the angry look are similar to the ndeso type of the girlfriend or boyfriend (sama2 kampungan) or even worse than her/him. Because their minds would say "If she/he can get him/her, why can't I?" . But if the mind and the physical proportion are way above the indonesian girlfriend or boyfriend, they tend not to care about it, or they will look down at them and inside their heads would say "oh mi God, couldn't he/she find a much better looking and more sophisticated than that???".

    So for those of you who feel proud with your blue eyed bule boyfriend and showing it off in the obvious way, don't. Because the stares might not represent envious, but they might look down at you. It goes to Indo men as well. But if you really love your partner in spite of his/her race and attractiveness or whatever he/she has, just don't give a damn about how the people look at you.

    That's just my subjective point of view.

    Peace.




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