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Jason
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Hi, I am an Australian guy who is madly in love with an Indonesian girl, yes she is Muslim and I am Catholic. Saya have already decided that I want to change my religion, we all believe in god, so I see no reason why changing will impact my life much and it is something I am prepared to do so I can marry the girl of my dreams. I lived in Indonesia for about 4 months; I loved the culture, the people, and my girl. I am hoping that you maybe able to guide me through the many things I must do in order to marry this girl.
I know that I must change my religion and by doing so study Islam, I must also get the circumcision done, that I am not looking forward to as I hate pain. The rest I do not yet understand, I have asked her parents for her hand in marriage already and they have asked me to learn the religion and become Muslim before this can happen, I understand all that and have no problem but from there, other than learning Bahasa, what else must I do, I know there are certain words I must say at the wedding ceremony but I am not sure what they are. Anyhow this is a great site and I hope you all can help me with some information, I apologies if you think I am getting ahead of myself but I do want to know all there is to know so I donít run into any problems along the path. Thanks Emoticon: Bye bye




orchidart
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Hi Jason,
I am proud of what you are planning. There are many positive things you can learn. My husband had the Qur'an (moslem bible) even before he met me. He has been gotten the circumcision even before he met me (when he was a child, he got a medical problem and he must do the circumtance).
As the first, you can try the book of Karen Amstrong ( the history of God, and the history of Islam). There are also a site where you can find a source like www.islamicfinder.com. Success!!!
Orchid



Jason
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Thank you Orchidart, for you fast response, I shall visit the website and see what I can learn, also I think a good book would heap me lots, thank you.



sahabat
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Jason,
Religion is universal.Accept each other ,and you will meet love automatically.
I would say Emoticon: Blush e a sincere moslim.You will manage.
baik baik ya
Sahabat



Albert
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I do not see any point in either you or her should change the religion. If one of you do so. you can no longer call yourself religious. Because you believe with your Hart.
How can you suddenly become a Muslim, Hindu, Christian, Catholic, Jew, etc. If you do not know what that religion is all about.

My wife is Muslim, but I will never change my religon into hers and I will never ask her to join my religon. If the you both of you get married outside Indonesia, you marriage is excepted in Indonesia, even if you have different religion.
I also did not change anything on my body after or before we got married, neigther did she.

So her family only except you as a Muslim, not as the person who you are now. Emoticon: Frustrated
Nice parent in law you will get. Emoticon: Bye bye


Wil je ook meester van je eigen leven zijn? http://www.goudenera.nl

nona
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I agree with Albert, as long as I know, that as good chatolic you have to get permission from RK that you will change your religion, I think all religion are the same purpose only one GOD, dont you feel worry one day if there is a conflic in your marriage that you regret, I think with understanding one of another, there is no reason to change. See what happened people either chatolic or moslim or other religion they do also wrong thing. I dont mean to intefere, just think everything through first, sometime people can be happy without change their religion, because something to do with respect for each other. dont make one of you later misserable feelings, because I understand you are crazy about this girl, but you know love is patient, love never jealous, love is respect for one of another.




sahabat
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albert dan nona
We will continue discussing this issue later.It will take time because life has so much to tell.
moga moga diberi kekuatan
sahabat



Veer01
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Just respect eachothers believe.Don't change your believe for a love,that's stupid. Emoticon: Nooo



reuveul
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Hello jason ,first you have to think what you realy want...
is it all worth it..
Me and my girlfriend have differend believes she's christian and
i believe in the one i love.
I don't want too be forced into a religion and just like albert says
do they only accept you as a muslim,and not as a person?
i think your own person is the strongest power that you'll
get in live .

Example :

A good friend of mine who is married to a muslim woman,does
not go to a moskee,never prays,no rammadan he only
did cut his penis (this will hurt for 8 weeks)and doesn't eat pig.
His wife doesn't do anything either with her religion.
That's because they live in Holland and only when
they go to ID they believe.
So what i try to say is don't fool your self there are enough
people who are fooling you allready in the world.

And maybe you can listen to the new song from audioslave_

Be Your Self Is All That You Can Do

I hope for you and your girlfriend that you both are making
a good choice about your lives...

Good Luck and much hapiness in your lives

Greetz Rob




like to live in ID,but it takes a while to get there

sayang
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On 05-06-2005 22:20 reuveul wrote:

A good friend of mine who is married to a muslim woman,does
not go to a moskee,never prays,no rammadan he only
did cut his penis (this will hurt for 8 weeks)and doesnt eat pig.


that's called : circumcission



Jason
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Thank you all for your responses, I understand what you are saying is the hard facts but I have agreed already about changing my religion and maybe, I am hopping, it will also make me a better person. Religion in Australia is not a big thing so since I was a little boy I have not had much to do with it, I think that in some stage of our lives, we need to have some type of belief and I think it is that time for me. True I would never have thought about it if I had not met the girl of my dreams; I honestly think that I will better from this experience. Her parents have already excepted me into there family and are quite willing to help me in any way they can, as I said, this is my decision as I am not the type of guy to be pressured into things.

Thank you all. Emoticon: Shiny




AnisJ
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Dear Jason,

I want to react for your topic, you have said that you want to change your religion ..... whilst there is no necessity to do this !!!
I advise you to read: http://www.jubileecampaign.co.uk/world/indo1.htm
Islam is not severe for non-Islamists, sure there are rules towards them.

I hope this site put your choice in a more perspective one; but the God of Islam,
Christianity and Jewism is the same !!!

Greets .... Anis.


'Ahu kura ahia, mansia nia'

nona
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Jason a lot of things happened in this world,like you said in your country religion is not a big thing, but I think there is nothing to do with your country, religion coming from inside yourself, who you are ? who you are gonna be ?
a lot of people are take advantage the situation mixed everything with religion, actually the people zelf destroyd those kind of things.
Jason one day I hope you dont feel regret :
Happiness in inward, and not outward, and so, it does not depend ond what we have, but what we are.
The Good Lord can make anything you want to be, but you have to put everything in His hands, but is a pity a lot of people especially in western country they dont believe that.

good luck.




reuveul
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Sayang, i talk strait, not like a surgion or president .

let people understand what there is to be said...

i hate all those difficult talkin in the world






like to live in ID,but it takes a while to get there

sayang
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I don't hate any 'difficulties' in the world so therefor I added the word



Jason
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Reuveul and others,

Why I actually posted a message wasnít to be judged on weather to become or not to become a Muslim but actually to find out some info on Indonesian Weddings and how to prepare for the wedding. I am sorry if my wording is misunderstood. Ok such as, 1st: like other places, we ask the parents for there daughters hand in marriage, 2nd: get engaged, 3rd: prepare the wedding? But how, were? Such as those questions are my thoughts.
Ok so, I know I must talk and make wedding plans with the brideís parentís right? I want it to be in Indonesia, Balikpapan her home town. I have been told you have the wedding one day and then hold the ceremony on another day? And also you can get married at the parents house, were would you recommend? After the engagement what steps do I take to marry this girl? Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks
Emoticon: Wink



reuveul
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They will prepare it for you, you just have to make sure you have enough money for all the activi that will be happen.
My girlfriend takes care of everything....
point : 1,2,and 3 are i think very normal to do

so go for it,make it a beautyfull day.


Salam Hari Kawin Sekali


Gr rob




like to live in ID,but it takes a while to get there

putri
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Hi Jason!
How lucky you are meeting somebody you are madly in love with !! Well, for the wedding preparation, I think you have to discuss it with your girlfriend, I am originally Indonesian, but there are lots of different tradition on wedding preparation, depends on the area or origin. Mostly quite complicated ceremony and it has certain rules. But do not worry, your girlfriend will explain it to you. Do not hesitate to ask the whole plan and steps you need to do, and the meaning of things you have to do, so you can enjoy the day. They will appreciate it very much. Get use to the idea that getting married is being king and queen for a while (one day or more days), everybody will tell you what to do and mostly they would not allow you to help preparation. But, such as invitation cards and this kind of details on how you would like to present the party, I believe you'd love to give some input , to identify personal touch of you and your girlfriend together. And do not forget to include your family. Have fun !! (and of course , congratulations to you both ) Emoticon: Bye bye



farrahdian
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Hi Jason,
When becoming a Muslim you will have to recite the Shahadat (testimony). This is not very difficult. There are even some sites where you can hear how it is supposed to sound and learn the meaning of the words.
Yusuf Islam (former popsinger Cat Stevens) also has a very interesting site:
www.yusufislam.org.uk which is certainly worth a visit.
If you have any other questions or need help with the Shahadat, let me know (farrahdian29Removed to prevent your adress from being spammed. Click this to go to the user profile.hotmail.com).


Farrah



harto
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Hi Jason, my brother in law (orang batak) married a girl from jakarta (betawi).
He still is a christian, and she converted from islam to christian. she is very very happy now, goes to the church every week and they have a beautiful daughter since 8 months.
So, if she really loves you, she will follow your religion as a man, so do all your children automathicly follow the father, to christianity. what is wrong with christianity, that you so easely can deny God ?
As we on ambon formerly always did, we lived and married together (christians and muslims) since centuries so we were one big family. Due to the transmigrasi politics, the newcomers banned this old adat and created war between muslims and christians. they even forced divorces within families.
so we can tell you that only real tolerance will have a future in indonesia.
try at least to accept each other religion and eventually stick to your religion

harto



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Dear Jason,

Just thinking that if people cannnot accept me unless I change my color...I can't be someone I am not. I don't want to see the mirror and cannot recognize my own reflection there...I don't want to change just because someone wants me to change - because I believe that love should free us, not the opposite.

But your life is yours, and your paths are yours as well to choose. Good luck in your future. If you want to know more about the experience of other expat married Indonesian, you can look for in the forums at www.expat.or.id

Warm Regards

WJ



leveni
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Hi Jason, I have some questions

1. what religion believes that Jesus was the son of Mary ?
2. what religion believes in the angel Gabriel ?
3. what religion believes only in God and that there is no other god than God ?
4. what religion believes in the holy spirit ?

In regards to circumcision I've never seen that word in the Holy Qur'an.


Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food and tyrannise their teachers. --- Socrates

leveni
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But in regards to circumcision http://patient.cancerconsultan(...)r_news.aspx?id=17381
is a good link as to why circumcision is a good idea.


Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food and tyrannise their teachers. --- Socrates

sidik
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I pity you all, you "religious" people. What is mostly the hatred in the world based on? Right, religions!
So why don't we give up religion, so there will be no more arguments, discussions, killings and wars based on that selfdenial?



tunawisma, tunakarya, tunamasalah

Agung
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Hi Jason,
I guess you already found out that you're not allowed to live in Indonesia once you're married with an Indonesian woman. This also applies to you're childern.

Yes, you can stay there on a temporary base, but remember that this is expensive, but mostly these regulations, and their price can change in the future. What seems to be afordable now, can become impossible in the years to come. PLEASE, DON'T BE SO STUPID TO TRY THIS.

The reason that you are not allowed to live there is the MUSLIM PRINCIPLE THAT A WOMAN SHOULD FOLLOW HER HUSBAND.

=>> What do you think will be more practical once the both of you live in Australia? Being Muslim or Christian?

Once more, according to Muslim a woman should follow her husband.....

Yes, now you are in love and your brain does not work so well, but please do yourself a favour and make sure she becomes a Christian and both of you live happy in Australia. Life will be hard enough on both of you, if you do it like that.

(By the way if your girlfriend is willing to become a Christian you can be sure she loves you and not your Aus $)








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